Monday, April 25, 2011

One Week Plus

The time is passing (slowly) until my ileostomy reversal surgery.  It is to be next week (the first week of May).  I have an appointment on Thursday for the surgeon to check to see if everything is healed and ready to go. 

It has been a long time since March 23 (surgery).  It has been five weeks that seems like five months, at least.  I will really be glad to have this part of my treatment completed.  Now it is just a race to see if I can squeeze this surgery in before Dana's baby is born.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Stoma

Stoma!!  Gee, I didn't even know what that was a few months ago.  As much as anything, I wanted to post these pictures as a reminder to myself.  In future months if things get rough, I want to be able to look back and say: "Well, at least I don't have that anymore."  You'll have to scroll a little to see the promised stoma picture.  You can left-click for a close-up view.

The yellow noodles around the stoma are the surgical stitches (that freaked me the first time I saw it).  Of course, I don't look very often.  Gary takes such good care of me.  He changes the bags about every 3 days and massages the skin that is under the adhesive disc of the bag (the second picture}.  That feels so good to have it washed and rubbed for a few minutes. 

The quarter isn't adhered to my abdomen; it was placed there by the scientist in the family to show scale.  You can also see a couple of the laparoscopic incisions.

I have felt a little better yesterday and today.  Thank you, Jesus.  Two weeks or less now until I get reconnected.  Love you all.



















Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Struggling

It has been 28 days since my surgery, but it feels like 280.  About 14 more to go, and I am struggling through each one.  This is the hardest thing I've had to do, and I need your prayers to get me over the hump here.  I just feel defeated and overwhelmed with "all the things I need to do" to keep things running to avoid another blockage. I feel so poorly I can't seem to have the heart or stamina to follow through.

Gary is being a rock in all this.  I know it is terribly hard for him to have to watch me moan and groan and not be able to make things any better.  Please pray for strength and endurance for him also.

Your support has made all the difference to me to making it as far as I have. 

P.S.  Tomorrow I'm posting a picture of the stoma.  So any weak stomachs need to skip tomorrow's posting.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Crisis

Unfortunately, I have spent the last 4 days at Huntsville Hospital.  Thursday I got a blockage of the small intestine with my ileostomy!  I have never been so sick in my life and sure hope to not go there again.  We were in the ER Thursday night--what a trip that was.

But the blockage did resolve itself with tons of IV fluids, etc.  I still don't feel good but back home (Sunday) and trying to make it to my surgery date the first week of May.

Gary took such good care of me during this crisis, again.  I can't say enough about how loved and valuable he makes me feel.  Dana and Scott helped so much by staying with me and letting him go home for a snooze.  The Taylor grandchildren came to see me yesterday afternoon, and they were such a breath of fresh air.

The Lord is my Shepherd and holds my hand through all these nightmares.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

New Week

After my post on Sunday morning, I began to feel some better.  The heavy burden of despair was lifted and I am doing better.  Thank you all for your prayers.

I am still fatigued but the nausea is better and I have been able to sleep a little longer at the time.  I think that I am eating a little more also.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with my medical oncologist to discuss treatment options after the next surgery.  Pray that we can learn everything we need to and make the right decisions.

Give us your best smile...

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Prayer Summons

On this Sunday morning, I am coveting everyone's prayers.  In the almost 3 weeks since my surgery, I feel like I have been slipping instead of gaining strength.  I feel miserable most all the time and am losing my will to fight.

Please pray for God's strength to hold me up and boost my spirits.  In 3 weeks +, I will have another surgery to reverse the ostomy and I don't want to be so weak and miserable when I go back into the hospital.

But I know that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.  You are all so precious to me, and I have no words to express how much I depend on you all and your prayers.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Never More Than We Can Bear

I  am so glad that the Lord promises to not give us more than we can bear, and that He knows I can't handle this ostomy for very long.  I admire people who can live with one for years but this six weeks is pushing me to the limit.

I did make it to the surgeon's yesterday and got a good report.  I go back on April 28 for a scope and then a few days later for a dye test and then surgery if everything is good.  So the first week in May should be the end of this.  He said 2 days in the hospital (which I'm taking as 1 night) for the reversal surgery.  I was hoping it would be a light anesthesic but no.  It seems like it took me a very long time to wake up after the last one, but it was a much longer surgery.

Besides the nausea, fatigue, and poor appetite, I have the problem of finding something to wear with this ostomy.  I am still in pajamas at home, but going out is a problem.  I wore a pair of Dana's maternity pants to my appointment yesterday, but even they pinched and squeezed the bag and drove me crazy.  I did manage to slink into Dillards and buy a patio dress.  It feels great (doesn't touch me anywhere) but the question is will I have the nerve to wear it away from home.  I'm not sure; I feel like a clown in it!

Sebastian, Cathy, Juliette, Wolfgang, Greg




Thursday, April 7, 2011

Bumping 150 years of Wedded Bliss




I love these photos.  Relatives who are also good friends.  We have lots of experiences between us and conversation and laughs never slow down.  I think we were the most "fun" table at the reception.

The group shot is Gary and me on the left, then my brother and sister-in-law, and my cousin and her husband.  The second photo is Gary's brother and sister-in-law (who was taking the pictures).

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Lobster

Since my surgery, I haven't been sleeping very well.  I get up 2-3 times a night to "take care of the ostomy" and sometimes have a hard time getting back to a sound sleep.  So I have had plenty of dreams lately.

A few days ago I dreamed about big, whole, luscious lobster--one of the many things I love about Maine.  Gary isn't all that enthused with lobster; he prefers Maine shrimp (which is delicious too).  But seafood is on the "no-no" list with the ostomy.  So that means 4 more weeks of denial, but then live lobsters of the world watch out.

I have been more fatigued during this recovery.  I thought I would have rebounded more by this time.  My appetite is very low, but I am trying to eat all I can and regain my strength.  I don't like sitting around all day drinking tons of water in my pjs doing nothing.  Although, I do have some pretty comfortable pjs.  Thanks to my brother-in-law Wade Hodges for the picture.



Sunday, April 3, 2011

Gary

I haven't said enough in my posts about my wonderful husband.  He has been the greatest throughout my ordeal and deserves a public pat-on-the-back.

We have been married for 41 years, and I can tell he still loves me deeply by the look on this face when I'm in pain.  This has been terribly hard on him, and he doesn't even get much sympathy.

He has driven me to more appointments, treatments, surgeries, etc. than anyone should have to suffer through.  But he never complains and encourages me along the way.  He waits on me hand and foot, and brings "one more glass of water" with a smile (even though he just sat down).  He is even teaching himself to cook and has mastered the dishwasher and washing machine!  I love him very much and depend on his strong shoulders to lean on.

But all jesting aside, my family and friends have been so important to me especially in this illness.  They are truly God's blessing to me.  I love you all very much!

Friday, April 1, 2011

April 7

April 7 is my follow up appointment with the surgeon.  Hopefully, he will think I am doing as well as I think I am.  My energy is taking longer to rebound than I had hoped, but I am trying to be patient.  I have lost a lot of strength since last summer that probably is just gone.

I am trying to learn to deal with this ostomy, but I really hate it.  This six weeks until reversal is going to be loooong.

On Saturday morning, the wedding day, we hosted a brunch for out-of-town relatives that came for the wedding (plus Dana, Nick and kids).  We had 20 and a great time.  The ladies table is set with my grandmother's depression glass dishes and my mother's porcelain roses.  The men's table was located close to the food, and the children's table was on the terrace (where crumbs don't matter).  Gary's nephew's wife, Linda, graciously sat with the children.