Showers of Blessings

Three posts in less than 24 hours; I'll really try everyone's patience this week!

We have had a steady, hard rain all night, and I've heard most of it.  I guess my beauty days are definitely over  because my beauty sleep is sure hard to come by these days!  But sleepless hours are a great time for reflection.  God is good in everything!

I couldn't help reflecting on how good God is to provide for us in all ways.  My journey through dealing with two primary tumors could have been totally overwhelming (and has seemed that way at times), but just when I begin to despair God shows me that He is still there holding my hand through it all.  How glorious!

We had really given up hope on being able to arrange surgery at Vanderbilt even though we had confidence in that being the right place to treat the melanoma.  It just seemed like a roadblock on timing.  I actually did give up two weeks ago because I couldn't schedule until the end of December and that just pushed my radiation/chemo treatment for the colon off too long.  But while on our little trip to the Biltmore, Dr. K's office called and had opened up a clinic spot for me to come in on Nov. 24 (last Wednesday).  I snatched it up and we made plans to go.  But at that visit I wasn't able to set a date for surgery and was in the depths of despair again.

I felt like, "Lord, why did you bring us here and then close the door again?"  But instead of letting me be discouraged and depressed over the long holiday weekend, God provided a wonderful treat for us.  Our daughter (thanks to the generosity of her husband and in-laws) came and stayed at our house and ministered to us for 3 days. 

By Monday morning, I felt refreshed enough to start making calls again and God provided a miracle:  a December 1 surgery date!  The surgeon had told us in his first email two weeks ago that there was no possibility of a Dec 1 or 2 opening!  Hallelujah, God is good--all the time.

Glory Be

I don't know if I have spelled this title correctly.  I just remember this being a favorite expression by "the older generation".  Since I am now officially a member of that generation (had my 62nd birthday last month), I thought I would like to revive the saying GLORY BE.

Anyway, I am saying "Thank you God" this morning for working out an impossible situation and making it possible for me to have surgery on Wednesday at Vanderbilt Hospital!  I had given up hope on things ever coming together at the right time.

I go tomorrow morning for pre-op and then arrive at 9:00 Wednesday morning for an 11:00 surgery (5 1/2 hour surgery).  I will stay one or two nights.  Then Dec 6 I start preliminaries for radiation on the colon cancer.  It looks like things are about to jump into high gear.

I want to thank everyone again for all your prayers and kind words.  I know that I am in God's Hands now, as always, and He will see us through.

A Bit of Advice

Normally I steer away from giving advice at all costs.  Giving advice is just a bad thing; it just leads to trouble.  I know, I can just hear my family saying," But you are always full of ideas for every situation."  Well, ideas and advice are entirely different!

But, nevertheless, I will say if you are planning to get cancer, my advice is to do it "one at a time".  Having two primary cancers at once is totally nerve-racking and not to be recommended!  Every simple decision turns into a quagmire of problems.  But with the Lord's help we are muddling our way through.

The Biltmore at Christmas

We have just returned from a wonderful "get-away" trip to North Carolina and Tennessee.  I've been feeling the need to run away for a few days and everytime we tried another appointment jumped up in the way.  So last Wednesday after a horrendous visit to remove the stitches in my mouth (which by the way hurt just as much as I anticipated) we jumped in the motorhome and headed for the mountains.

On Thursday we visited the Biltmore--the grounds in the afternoon and candlelight tour in the evening.  I have wanted to see their Christmas decorations for several years and sure enough it was worth the wait.  Magnificent!  Then we spent a couple of days at Smokey Mtn NP and really enjoyed driving around as well.

Now we are back home and ready to face reality again.  I have another visit to Vanderbilt on Wednesday afternoon to consult with a melanoma surgeon.  Then hopefully we will have a quiet Thanksgiving (going to a restaurant this year) and get ready for surgery next week.

Thanks again for all your kind words and prayers.  I had 3 of the sweetest emails of late from friends of Gary (Bubba, Dale, Randy) that we haven't seen since leaving Arkansas.  It really does lift my spirits to know that you are concerned and praying for me.

The Dye Is Cast

The trip to Vanderbilt University Medical Center is history (thankfully).  Dana was able to travel with us thanks to the kindness of a lovely homeschool family.  My appointment was with Dr. S, head of the Melanoma department.  We had tried to gather our thoughts and questions but just walking into one of those places seems to just suck out what little intelligence I have left!  But between the three of us I think we had a good consultation.

Dr. S seems to think that having the neck dissection is my best chance of eliminating the remaining melanoma.  So we made the decision to proceed with the surgery as soon as possible.  He recommended a surgeon at Vanderbilt, but after numerous conversations today he is booked until the later part of December.  Because I am waiting on starting radiation for the colon cancer until after this surgery, I simply cannot wait that long.  I had already seen an oncology head and neck surgeon in Huntsville and have decided to go with him.

All that explanation to say that my lymphadenectomy is scheduled at Huntsville Hospital for December 2.  Then I will start radiation the next week.  The next six months are going to be demanding!

My mouth and lips are healing well from last Friday's surgery.  I'm hoping to get stitches out tomorrow morning at my visit with Dr. D.  This afternoon I am headed to the GP's office to change my blood pressure meds (they just aren't cutting it anymore--can't imagine why).

So with all this going on, we have decided to get "out of Dodge" for a few days!  I've been wanting for the last two months to make a trip and every time some appointment comes up.  I bought tickets today for the Christmas Evening at Biltmore Estates for Thursday night!  Always wanted to see the Christmas decorations at Biltmore and think that a few days in the mountains will do us good.  After hopefully removing my stitches (my lips are so sore it will probably be a booger), we are picking up the motorhome and heading out.  Be back Monday.

This has been a wild journey already, one I would not have chosen.  But I am learning so much as I go along the way.  God really is faithful to deliver us with strength and courage just when we need it most.  The calm and peace I feel cannot be humanly explained, wow!

A New Song in my Heart

I love the old hymn "Just When I Need Him Most, He's Always Near".  The author really knew the truth!  Today I go to yet another surgery and have been feeling pretty low about it and the future.   I haven't been able to shake this feeling of hopelessness.

This morning while reading through Matthew, Jesus reminded me to "Ask and It Shall Be Given to You".  I have not prayed for healing, because I want to be only in His Will.  And I was suddenly impressed with what my prayer is:  Lord, heal me if it is Your Will and if it is time for me to go, then give me the strength to bear the pain of separation and the physical pain involved. 

Now, even through the tears, my heart is singing a new song  of joy that whatever lies ahead I'm not alone.  Now, on to the Surgery Center...

Two More Days

Two more days until I have the surgery to open my mouth!  And I can't wait.  I know it will be sore, swollen, and have more stitches, but I am reallly ready to move on.  In a few days, I see a nice steak and slice of pizza on my plate.

On Monday I talked with one of my oncologists, and she wanted to refer me to a melanoma specialist at Vanderbilt for an evaluation and treatment option opinion.  I agreed to go and have an appointment on Monday at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville.

I have really been dreading this appointment.  I have gotten "gun shy" because it seems every new doctor has a more ominous outlook than the last.  But I was reminded while reading Matthew 6 this morning that we are not to worry about tomorrow.  So I'm trying to focus on getting ready to eat the steak and let tomorrow's troubles go.

Ray of Sunshine

God provides a sunny side to even the darkest clouds.  My "ray of sunshine" this week is the news that our Texas family is coming here for Christmas.  I never expected them to be able to travel with 3 babies under 4. 

Greg and Cathy, I really appreciate your tackling Holiday airports in order to be here for Christmas.  I know we will have a wonderful time with six children and all their joy. 

Thanks again Cathy and Greg.

Wolfgang Adrien

Juliette Arwen 

Sebastian Alexander

Difficult Day

Wednesday was a difficult day.

  First off I had to decide on a location to have my remaining lip surgery on Nov. 12.  That is the wonderful day when my lips will be parted and my tongue freed (so to speak, pun intended)!  I could go for less hassle and expense by having it done in the Dr. D's office clinic under local anesthesia.  Or I could go to the Huntsville Surgery Clinic.  The Surgery Clinic involves more hassle, expense, but also more anesthesia.  I thought about getting multiple injections in my upper and lower lip around the scar and quickly decided on the Surgery Clinic.  I can tell that I've become more hysterical at the thought of pain!

In the afternoon, I had an appointment with an ENT surgeon (a Dr. T) who does lymphadenectomy.  My oncologist made this appointment and suggested I have this neck dissection surgery.  This is elective surgery, quite permanently debilitating and not proven to increase survival.  After much prayer and thought, we have decided to not have the surgery at this time (an option by Dr. T).  We will take the wait and watch approach with monthly exams of lymph nodes.  Starting radiation and chemo for the colon cancer is even more of a priority that could not start until healing had taken place on the neck.  With everything considered, we decided to proceed with the radiation as soon as my mouth heals sufficiently (about Dec.1).

Dr. T was extremely frank and while we don't want sugar-coated facts, it is still hard to hear so many negatives at one time.  But after a major melt-down that night, the sun is shining again and God is in His Heaven!

Warren Finch, Marianne Caroline, Wilson James

Gifts of comfort

I have recently received books from Taylor families.  My Alabama grandchildren's Arkansas grandparents, Grandmom and Pop (Nick's parents), sent me a wonderful book by David Jeremiah.  It is "A Bend in the Road" Experiencing God When Your World Caves In--great book.

Dana and Nick gave me a wonderful little book of Charles Spurgeon sermon vignettes titled "Beside Still Waters".  I wanted to share one of them that comforted me today.

"When pain gives every sign of increasing, when we wait for the surgeon with his dreaded knife, if we are to be sustained under suffering that makes the flesh shudder, we need the upholding gentleness of God.  'Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand' (Is. 41:10).  This promise, like the nightingale's song, is most sweet when heard in the night season."

I must go today for another consultation with yet another surgeon about yet another surgery even while waiting until next week for the surgery to finish my lip.  Without God's help I would have been washed away by this tidal wave of the last few weeks and contemplation of the future.  But with God's steady Hand and the support of my wonderful family and friends, I feel completely calm and steady even in the midst of this storm.

An this is an example of a great 'Gift of Comfort'.

This is Sebastian Alexander, number 6 grandchild.

Lip update

Still some swelling but, after the scare on Saturday, not too bad I guess.  Still stitches between the left side of my lips to be removed 11/12.

Have You Heard The One About...

Have you heard the one about the cemetery that everyone was dying to get into because they had such a great layaway plan?

Well, maybe that is what prompted us to want to buy a cemetery lot.  Since moving to Huntsville, we have enjoyed Maple Hill Cemetery in the fall and spring and looking at all the historic markers.  Last week we visited and were pleased to learn that a few lots were available.  So today we are the proud owners of lots in the shade of beautiful maple trees at Maple Hill.

                                         I am standing on the lot.

                                          You may can still see me.